I am sooo incredibly heated right now, i am so incredibly done with being fucked over, i am so incredibly done with caring for someone. I am more than mad, i'm more than upset, i wish i wasn't home, i fucking hate this place more than you could ever know. I'm tryna get away from everyone this weekend, so if your readin this and your going on vacation this weekend to the shore, to anywhere but here, let me fucking know.

fuck this place, fuck people who "care" about you, because it'sss alllllll a fucking lie.

I thought everything was going well, but i ended up being compleeeeetely wrong.

Stupid shit went down saturday night, reaaalllyyyy pisses me off, but i can't really hold a grudge that long...
Just pisses me off cause that night i found out, people we called "friends" ended fucking us over real bad. Like i'm scared to even make new friends, because there prolly just gonna fuck you over anyways. I just think it was soooo much shit down that week, and then we all got together, and it was too fast.
On a different subject, i'm seeeeriously done trying, done calling, done texting. its beat as fuck that i got my hopes up for real this time, and once again i got let down.

Im just gettin all kinds of let down, so how bout i find a new group of friends that doesnt fuck people over?

for certain people

its sad dude, to see such reallllyy great things just be completely shattered. Ya know? people fuck up, alot of people fuck up, and usually when fucking up, someone gets hurt right? but really one person has to BE the bigger person, and not do that hole name calling, bull shit. I can understand your mad, and upset, la de da de da, but seriously, what your saying is just mean... You may not be saying it to their face, but your still implying it. Your hurting someone you cared about. Eveennn though, they mightve done it to you, it still hurts just as much.

i know you may want "revenge" or whatever ya know?, but you should never want revenge if you really considered that person your best friend...
it really is sad, and to think it was over a dude, im not trying to get in the middle at all, and i'm not taking sides. I just think its rediculous.

I love the both of you to death, i hope that eventually you can work things out.

I don't want to go to the airport... ill be dreading the airport and the plane ride, fuck.

fuck all that, im good. Leaving my house for flordia tonight, and not actually gettin on the plane till friday. so fuck you, im gonna have the best time ever, not thinking about you ;)


i'm gonna miss everyoneeeeeeeee.... kinda ;)

I need to chill the fuck out. I'm making myself sick, not physically sticking my finger down my throat, but my stomache has been a mess the past few days, and headaches, but then again that could be from sleep too. I told myself i'd never give up on this, but i gotta, its wasting my time and my thoughts and shit. Its wierd how a matter of two days can completely change how you feel and shit, you know?

im just going to focus on my friends, and my mom. its all i really should be focusing on. hopefully i can get out to do something so i dont have to sit in and think about absolutly everything. :/

i see jess tomorrow night, and then im off to flordia, im so excited, and on top of that august 12th i get these fuckers off my teeth, that like less that a month! I miss sammy, alot.

figured that i'd make one of these, instead of using my livejournal. No one will read it, but its a good way to get shit out. my mom and i got into a little arguement, me and a certain someone got to into an arguemnt, but that actually killed me the most. And on top of that, i feel like im being used, on so many different levels. but i think i'm too nice to confront that shit. but whatever. i haven't been getting much sleep lately which is probably making my emotions go off the wall.
have you ever loved your past so much, but theres SO much bad in it? but then again you wanna go forward incredibly worse. ill tell you what, i havent felt this way in such a long fucking time, it really gives me a headache and makes me go crazy. i know i need to keep my distance, but its so hard.. i havent realized it till now. Its 2:35, and i need to get up early again tomorrow, so i best be going to sleep.