Everytime I think about him leaving me for good, feels like my heart starts refiguring itself some how and I start to get tears in my eyes. I love kissing him not only strictly because it's him, but I know he'll always be there. &I would hope I know someone will always care about me the way he does. The way I feel about him is completely irrevocable. I can't say I'm in love with him, but maybe I'm just in denial.
I haven't heard from him in about 2 days and it kills me so bad. This is the things that makes me want to cut him off completely, but there is NO possible way I could ever do that. Unless I just so happen to fall in love with someone else which I highly doubt would ever happen.
What kills me most is the fact I know the feeling isn't mutual. If it was, we'd make things work like we did, things would be completely different than they are now.
I'm just worried If I cut him off completely, something will happen to him and I won't be there, I don't fucking know.

I feel like i'd be better off trying to not live a lie. Right?


I know another pathetic post, I'm just really going crazy here, for over the past year the same shit has been happening and I'm just so entirely sick of this.