I left school early today, Bad day. I don't know whats wrong with me, hopefully my time with Jess will mend it a little.

So after seeing the movie, Twilight, I decided to start reading the series, and I really can't put the book down. ....Obesssseeessed

I hate everyone.

Was It completely nesscary for him to leave? Is it supposed to teach me some kind of lesson? Fuck Holidays, RIP Dad, I hate the holidays withtout you.

Odd to say, but I love winning solitare

If anyone actually reads this, This is what I look like with completely no make up on. Ahahahahaha I dont think I'll ever leave the house like this, so good luck catching me like this. I love this girl<3333>

<-------- He is probably one of the most sexiest men alive. Last night, I went to go see Twilight with Jess and Carney, and No lie, It was SO good. Cutest, intense love story ever. Me and Jess cried. Lol not to be a Debby Downer or anything but it honestly mad me sssssssoooo pissed off, I don't think I can handle cute shit like that cause I get so jealous, not to be completely corny. But its totally true. I just got home not too long ago, and now I'm completely bored with nothing to do, its only 9:14 too. What the fuuuuuuuuck, I think tomorrow If I dont find anything to do, I MIGHT actually clean my room, This pig-sty is gettin a tad rediculous. But I'm gonna go all out, even throw away some clothes maybe, well see. 12 more days till Christmas, and 13 more days until London and Paris, I think i'm more excited for London than I am Christmas. Most deffinately, I fucking hate holidays and I'm mostly excited to get out of this fucking country. I dont even think I'm going to take my phone with me, When I'm there I want nothing to do with anyone. Plus I think there's extra charge on texts when your out of country. I dont know.

HORRIBLE day. I start off first, with thee most bangin headache ever, Secondly, a debate in history gone wrong. I freaaaked out because these two kids were talking shit under their breath in front of my face. I hear i'm dumb every FUCKING day dude, Its bull shit. But the one came up to me and apologized sincerely, so its straight. Then lastly, I'm on the phone, and he calls me another girls name? Thats an automatic goodbye.. "I want to let you know that you are the girl. The one I've been waiting for"


Hahahaha bye!

To me, everyone seems so fucking happy. I can truely say that i'm fucking miserable, and most people deffinately aren't helping. I feel like a failure, I can't do good in school, I can't make my mom happy, I could never make my dad happy, I can't find a dude, I dont know what's wrong with me. I'm insecure and probably hopeless, I honestly feel like giving up on everything and everyone. I sound like some emo mother fucker, but its true. I don't know...

I keep having the same issues with myself almost every month, every week rather. I don't know what to do.

It's wierd, I haven't been drunk or anything for 3 months. I'm actually pretty proud of myself, but I'm so fucking miserable that sometimes I think If I just got totally smashed, I would be happy again and my life would be more interesting again, More stories to tell etc. I really don't wanna think like that all, And I shouldn't but, I dont know.
I think I might actually like delete my myspace, or not go on it for a while, because honestly it just makes me feel shitty about myself every fucking day. Or just not even go on my computer rather. I really can't let things get to me like they do, but thats just me I guess. I'm tired of living around here but I would really hate to move, I might have a chance to move to AZ in July, but whats out there? Just deserts, mountains and bull shit. Deffinately not my kind of place. I have plans here, so I'll stick to them. I just really can't wait to leave this fucking place just for a little but and go to London and Paris, It's gonna be so bangin.

I'm figureing myself out day by day, and I hate it because I thought I already knew who I was.

Hopefully Ill be going to Delaware tonight to see Tiff and Taylor.

You make me hate myself. You make me hate myself. You make me hate myself. You make me hate myself. You make me hate myself. You make me hate myself. You make me hate myself.


I wish I never met you. I wish I never met you. I wish I never met you. I wish I never met you. I wish I never met you. I wish I never met you. I wish I never met you. I wish I never met you. I wish I never met you. I wish I never met you. I wish I never met you.

Today was hard, reallllly fucking hard. Toughed it out though, and I'm glad I wasn't just sitting home feeling sorry for myself.


rip dad, 6.3.55 - 12.2.05