I wish I could get the shit beat out of me for crying over so something stupid.

Again, I feel like I'm not good enough, I dont know why. I hate this website because this is where I vent, so many people probably think Im such a baby, but Im not. It just sucks honestly, I'm me and whatever, but I want to be the best in some peoples eyes. but I feel like im not even close to the "best."
I'm just insecure, I guess..

I am so into you

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Im so scared to see you, its unreal!

I hate Jersey, I miss philly.

I don't know why I miss you so much, I only kissed you once.

The Police is one of the best bands ever, no doubt about it.

If I could wish for one thing, In the hole entire world, hands down, It would be to some way, some how to see my Dad again.
I'm sick of dreaming about him, I'm sick of just thinking about him. I just want to see him, and hug and kiss him, dance with him, hold his hand, and tell him how much I love him. I would do anything, absolutely anything, to see him again.
Where would I be if he was still here?

Soooo from sitting in all last night, and this morning. I've been thinking about so much, I need to get out of this house before I drive myself insane. I baked a some kind of fruity bread last night, and fell asleep during the phillies game. Oh and before all that my mom gave me a hot stone massage, which is deffinately what's up. I miss everything I used to have :( maybe if I didn't fuck up so much things wouldn't have changed, so I guess I stop feeling bad for myself. Ugggggggggggh

I had such a good night tonight, good get away from such a stupid week. I haven't talked to my best friend in like a good two days, I guess thats cool, right?

I'm so pathetic, really I am. I don't know why I bother with anyone or anything.

I've come to the conclusion that there has to be something dramaticly wrong with me. Or maybe I'm just a fucking retard, but i'm done with it all. I hate to be so dramatic, but I'm just venting.
Either all the dudes I talk to are complete assholes, or in all seriousness, there is someting wrong with me. I know im not the prettiest girl, or the smartest, or the best at making descisions, and the most jealous, not the skinniest. But someone was in love with me for over a year, why can't that happen again? I guess I gotta be patient, but im the most impatient girl ever. I HAVE SO MANY FLAWS. what the helllllllllllll? I thought I found some dudes who would do me right, but the first one, is too "busy" doesn't have time. And the second one is just a flat out douche bag whos been my friend, but likes to see girls cry I guess, when he couldve supposively "taken care of me" bulllll shiiiiitt...
Im done wasting my time on people, For real. Between friends, and guys. And just people in general, you can't trust ANYONE. So from now on, I will never ever ever let my guard down until I know and feel thats its alright to. I'm usually such a reallllly happy person, I am a happy person. but shit sucks so bad lately, im so over it, so incredibly over it.