"Best Friends" is such a God damn fake word. I have never been so betrayed by friends in so long. I don't understand how someone could sit there and act like yous are best friends, and pull the bull shit that you did. This doesn't go out to directly one person. All i know is, I don't need yous, your all huge dissapointment. But its okay, life is full dissapointments. But yous are the biggest. I got my mom and myself, and honestly thats all I need. Thanks for making my trust issues ten times worse than they were.

I could talk about how much i miss the way you used to play with my chub, and i could say that i miss the way that you yelled at me, and i could say that i missed the way you made me feel totally complete. I could say that i miss your kisses and and knowing i was the reaosn your smiling. I could say all that, but i know its not the same as it used to be, never will. Which hurts me so bad because thats all i can think about. What if things didnt mess up, where would we be right now? just sucks, becaues i don't think i can even be your friend, talk to you, RATHER see you, without crying. I want to move on, and im trying. and i'm gonna keep trying.

I don't seem to be too happy lately, can't really explain why, but i feel like theres something missing. I want to go to the beach and just lay there by myself all day. One thing i can really look forward to is going to London for New Years. I can't be more excited. But school is wearing me out, i've been going to bed so early lately, and im actually cracking down and doing my homework. Wierd right? School is one of my main concerns right now. But i just wish i was happy, i mean im content, but im not as happy as i can be. People have been letting me down except for three people really. They know who they are. Whatever, just taking this school year day by day.