I feel alot better now that my moms home you don't even know. But my brother is deffinately coming over, and my mom told me the only thing she wants for mother's day is for us to be civil.... yeah............

I've been laying in bed, all day. Miserable. Miserable. MISeRABLE. I've been crying. I miss my Dad. I miss him so much. 3 years is too long without having him. I think I might have to see my brother today, I hate him. No one cares. I have no one to talk to. I need help. I'm hot. And at this point in time I wish I was fucked up on God knows what. Maybe I'm getting my period, I don't know. I just wish everything was perfect and everything was okay. But I'm not happy, nothing comes easy for me, ever. I was happy a little less than a month ago. But it's obvious people change quickly. I'm not happy. In any way shape or form. My mom's not even home for mother's day.

I haven't updated in so long. I'm miserable absolutely miserable. I'm not happy like I used to be thats for sure. I didn't know you talked bad about someone your apparently in love with but, thats okay right? I didn't know it was alright to be disrespectful to someone your in love with, but that's okay right? I totally just realized something as well. I'm not writing it on here just because it's public. But I'm off the wall about it
Thank God today is mother's day, because I don't feel like leaving the house, I just want to sit and read and cry.

Why can't every thing just go perfectly

Tonight was an interesting night, Steve's asleep and I wanna talk to him so bad


xoxoxoxo

Well, It's 6:25, and the truth is I woke up thinking about it, at 5:50. YOU really did like me, What guy would wanna spend every night on the phone with a girl who lives far away, that youll never see, what guy wouldn't read all my surveys about him and not like me? I think the only reason you hurt me like you did is because you needed to get rid of me, fast. But you insisted on making it a bigger deal than it should have been, you could have just told me.
I don't know maybe I'm completely wrong, I considered him maybe being completely insane, (a conclusion I do not doubt at all) I've considered a bunch of things.
But truth is I'm utterly and completely happy with Steve and I wouldn't trade him for one thing in the world even if it was a life supply of authentic Chanel stuff, oh thatd be wonderful, but its true.

My myspace song makes me wannaaaaaaaa dance, all my nail polish is coming off and it's my favorite color, I miss my baabeeee. I passed history with a fucking 76! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT CUZ I CAN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

ps I still feel mad lonely, still... but I'm happy today, today is a good day!

I need to find out what the fuck is wrong with me fast before I blow my fucking head off. Maybe I'm bi-polar, maybe i'm just fucked up. Who knows, I just can not afford to push away one the of best people in my life right now, please God don't let me loose him